Single, and still hating it.
So it's been just over a year since I became single. (Almost a month over to be precise.) And sometimes the question just pops into my head... How is a fat girl like me supposed to compete with all the beauties I see around all the time?
The first question is usually proceeded with the Second: Will I hold the next guy up to the impossible standards that I enjoyed in my last relationship?
Ok and if those nagging questions aren't enough, I am picky and shy. Actually I need to explain the shy part. I am usually confident around guys, guys usually make the best friends. But I am not confident when it comes to flirting with them, been burned too many times. This leaves me in the impossible state of waiting for a guy to come to me. Problem, the only guys I works with are old enough to be my parents, and I don't have much of a social life and can't afford the gas for the half hour trip into town to find a social life.
Which bring me back to the first question. The one social thing I do is dance on monday nights, but there are a whole lot of good looking girls there, and Sometimes I just get the feeling that I am being passed over for dances for the more attractive girl. This only strengthens the first question... I mean if I can't even get in as many dances as I'd like how am I ever supposed to find a nice guy.
That's the other problem. Like I said earlier, I'm picky. I guess I have to be, i don't have the personality for relationship hopping. I am a person who just wants to settle down and be happy, even if the relationship doesn't work out in the end I would probably still want it to last a while.
Now there's probably somebody out there asking what reasons there are to go out with somebody like me. What are the good qualities about me? I think I'll save that for another post.
So while you wait, let's play this game...
comment on what you feel is important to get a relationship started. What makes you look? What makes you take interest or make the leap into actually asking? Are you a guy or girl? Maybe by doing this we can all learn something about each other, and about the opposite sex ;-)
The first question is usually proceeded with the Second: Will I hold the next guy up to the impossible standards that I enjoyed in my last relationship?
Ok and if those nagging questions aren't enough, I am picky and shy. Actually I need to explain the shy part. I am usually confident around guys, guys usually make the best friends. But I am not confident when it comes to flirting with them, been burned too many times. This leaves me in the impossible state of waiting for a guy to come to me. Problem, the only guys I works with are old enough to be my parents, and I don't have much of a social life and can't afford the gas for the half hour trip into town to find a social life.
Which bring me back to the first question. The one social thing I do is dance on monday nights, but there are a whole lot of good looking girls there, and Sometimes I just get the feeling that I am being passed over for dances for the more attractive girl. This only strengthens the first question... I mean if I can't even get in as many dances as I'd like how am I ever supposed to find a nice guy.
That's the other problem. Like I said earlier, I'm picky. I guess I have to be, i don't have the personality for relationship hopping. I am a person who just wants to settle down and be happy, even if the relationship doesn't work out in the end I would probably still want it to last a while.
Now there's probably somebody out there asking what reasons there are to go out with somebody like me. What are the good qualities about me? I think I'll save that for another post.
So while you wait, let's play this game...
comment on what you feel is important to get a relationship started. What makes you look? What makes you take interest or make the leap into actually asking? Are you a guy or girl? Maybe by doing this we can all learn something about each other, and about the opposite sex ;-)
posted by Phoenixwaller | 10:33 PM
4 Comments:
I question all the time about why I am single. I have so many good qualities, and yet, still seem to be on a neverending cycle of searching for someone, somewhere, who wants to spend their time with me. So far, the only common denominator I have found in all my unsuccessful relationships... is me!....
Cath, you can't allow youself to think that way. I was in what seemed to me a great relationship for 6 years. I learned over that time that sometimes things just don't work out. It may not have anything to do with either party, sometimes it just happens.
Know what is good about yourself and stay confident and I'm sure it'll work out someday.
Hey rudicus, I don't mind the long comments. And I know what you mean about being confident, I just always have to wonder. BTW I live in a land of hispanic beauties. And then add the california imports and a girl like me has to try extra hard. Then remove the nice guys and replace them with, well... not nice guys and that is the place I live in. So I'm obviously not expecting any action anytime soon.
Remember that many really nice guys may be a little shy too so may not hang out where they are easily met. Don’t give up and don’t be afraid to be assertive if you meet someone who is a bit shy.
That’s how I met my husband and we just celebrated 24 years. If I can find a great guy, anyone can.
Sarah
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