Killing time

KAPOW!

Only about an hour and a half left before I can get started on Shadowfall. I'm getting impatient. I'm trying to work on DS a little more, but my mind keeps going back and trying to figure out what I'm going to do.

I guess it's not a bad thing to be thinking about it. I don't have many details figured out yet.

Let me explain. I know where I'm going, I just don't know how I'm going to get there.

Of course I find that is the best way for me to write at times. But sometimes it does hurt.

I am also worried that the story itself won't hit the mark. I'm pretty sure that it will, but with so much of it still in my mental shadows I have no way of knowing.

Anyway, I had a concepts sheet prepared since the story first started sticking in my mind. I've now printed out a copy of that so that I don't have to keep opening up a file. And I've pinned it to the wall next to me. Hopefully I will find that a help as I try to do this.

I guess I'll try to do some necessary tasks as I wait. Wish me luck.

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween all. May you get lotsa candy.

So I failed in my goal. I still have not finished Dark System, and NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow. But maybe it'll turn out for the better. I may need a break from Shadowfall every now and again, and DS is probably different enough.

I would really appreciate some of you checking out Shadowfall for me on a regular basis. the URL is http://phoenixnanowrimo.blogspot.com. I would like to know how you all like the story as it unfolds.

In other news I got my hair colored yesterday. It is now a rich purple. And not just highlights like I did before. Granted I still do have highlights, but after he colored those Edward (my stylist) also colored all the non-bleached portions of my hair.

Right now I still love that color.

For now that's all I can think of to say. So L8R all.

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Google

SO I was going through my news routine this morning when I came across this article. And it got me to thinking.

Now the article is about the advertising monster that google has become. And I'll admit, there are plenty of sites that have the little text that say ads by google on them. Bumperstickerrant included.

It also discusses how some people are getting worried about how big google is getting because of those advertising dollars.

But that isn't what got me thinking. What got me thinking is how much of google's stuff I use.

Even this blog is because of google, because google owns blogger. Then on top of that I have ad sense on bumperstickerrant, I have 2 gmail accounts, I use hello, am thinking about picasa, and will probably continue to use more and more google projects in addition to the search engine as they are released.

And for all of it I don't pay a dime.

Yes, i know that some think that it's bad because google keeps records of everything. But everybody else does too, so that doesn't worry me.

And the ads are nice, they are what pay for all of this stuff. And they aren't annoying popups, nor hideous flash animation. Simple text that catches my eye only with its simplicity, and allows me to click only if I feel like it and not to close it.

Of course I have to come back around to that wonderful price tag again. I mean free is such a nice word. And the stuff is top-notch.

I guess the only thing that really worries me after thinking about it is... what'll happen if google ever crumbles?

But don't take this as an open invitation to expand into too much google people, keep some modesty about you.

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strange things

So for some bizarre reason I have decided to try reading The Book of the Five Rings again. This is a book that has always interested me in some way, but I have never been able to read. It's one of those that has a knack for putting me to sleep, or confusing me.

But it's been at least 6 years since I tried to read it last, and I decided that it was worth another go.

Somehow I must have matured enough for the book to really start to make sense. I still don't know if I'll be able to get through it, even though it's excruciatingly short. But somehow understanding what is being said makes it less likely to put me to sleep, as long as I read it in short bursts.

But opening it this time brought back something from the past. When I started reading it again a newspaper clipping fell out.

It was an article about how a librarian from my HS died, and the article was written by my brother's wife (God that still feels wierd to say). This was a librarian whom all the geeks respected, and I remember that there were about half students at the funeral.

But I don't remember trying to read this book when that happened. I mean I must have been, but I don't remember having picked up the book in a looooong time. Strange. Could be coincidence, could be something else.

But still it's strange.

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HNT post below this one.

So I was going through the news today when I came across this article. And it worries me a little bit.

All throughout this supreme court nomination season, we've been hearing about how the shrub was going to pander to the far right and nominate sobody who satisfies their goals. And both times so far he has surprised us and actually nominated somebody fairly moderate.

But now Meirs has withdrawn her nomination. And once again there is pressure on the prez to nominate somebody that the extremist churches want.

Now the article talks about how the far right is trying to get him to repay his getting back into office. But unless religious fundamentalists make up half of the poopulation, he shouldn't have to repay anything. Because they didn't do it alone.

Besides, he really does need to put up somebody who won't have a huge battle. Even though republicans control congress, there are still some options left open to the dems. And despite the attempt of republicans over the summer to get rid of the fiilibuster, it didn't happen.

Besides that, there are still a few moderate republicans. And if the nominee is too far right they might side with the Dems, heck I would.

I guess only time will tell.

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OMG!!! It's me! look quick, because you'll probably never see a pic like this again. Happy HNT

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:-)

Slowly I'm learning.

Yesterday, after I posted here, I decided that I needed to look at the guidelines for amazon shorts again.

And it hit me that a link I already had up would do much better as an amazon associate link. It was nothing dramatic, the link I already had up on this page for torn. But by signing up as an amazon associate I can now have the same information, but possibly make a referral commission instead of just hoping for a sale. And it now allows people to put it directly into an amazon cart. And since amazon serves the link all the information is current.

Ain't that great!

Now I'm just waiting to hear back from the shorts program. If I get accepted into that I'll be able to do the same thing with those stories.

Other than that I don't have much going on today. Maybe later, but not right now.

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Randomness

So I bought another domain today. I wasn't expecting to do it, but it happened.

I had heard a few weeks ago that Yahoo had sweetened the deal on domains. They now have them for $2.99. But I had thought that it was for new customers only.

Anyway after recieving another email about it I decided to read the fine print. There was nothing saying that I was excluded, even though I purchased phoenixwaller.com through them.

So I went through the whole process and lo and behold I was able to get bumperstickerrant.com at that sweet price. I went ahead and paid for two years.

Right now I only have it fowarded to the blog, but when my hosting comes up again for billing in December I may pay to have it done as an addon domain. If I do that I can run some forums and a chatroom. Really make it into a sweet site. But before I do that I really do hope to get some feedback on whether that would be interesting to watchers of that site.

I guess the only other thing I need right now is traffic. All my sites have a little traffic, but a little is all. I consider it good on some days when I surpass 15 page loads, and honestly that isn't enough. If I really want any of the things I do to be successful I need to bring up those numbers.

Anybody have any good ideas on how to do that without being an absolute nuisance?

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yawn

Curses to whatever force caused me to wake well before dawn this morning.

Went to bed at midnight, fell asleep right about one. woke up at a quarter to five and couldn't fall back asleep. Crawled out of bed at half past five to do homework, walked the perimeter of the campus from 7-730, more homework... internet. I don't even have to leave for class for almost another hour.

I should still be sleeping.

Ok, now that I'm done cursing the universe I guess that I should explain that this happens every once in a while. But usually I can get back to sleep. Today I just knew that wasn't going to happen so I got up.

I'm normally a light sleeper, so the littlest thing can wake me up. And I'm usually an insomniac too. SO once I get to sleep my body tries to keep me there, but once in a blue moon I will wake up at some obnoxious hour and not be able to get back to sleep. The worst it ever was I went to bed at midnight and woke at three. I ended up laying in my bed until 7 before I finally nodded off again for aother hour or so.

On the flip side, I must say that if I wasn't a night owl I might actually enjoy waking up that early just to walk while it is still cool and quiet. But honestly I'm more likely to take a walk at midnight every night than to wake up early enough to make it nice in the morning.

It's cloudy, and was downright cold this morning. Fall's here. And if this weather continues we may see some snow right around Halloween. I don't mind, I was getting tired of hot.

enough for now. If I'm not going to sleep I might as well look at the news.

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A small consideration

SO some months back I heard of a new thing from Amazon, called amazon shorts it is where writers publish new short works and they are digitally distributed for only 49 cents each.

I keep wavering on whether I want to participate or not. I know that if I am accepted into the program there is no harm, and since some things will be written anyways I might as well make some money off of it.

But I also wonder if they would ever sell.

If I did this it would probably mean that anything new that I wrote would go there and the free stories I have on my writing page would be the extent of the free stories.

So I pose the question to you, my few loyal readers. Is this something that is worthwhile? Would you shell out 50 cents to read a short story by an author that you liked, or would you do it before committing to an entire book? Or maybe because you wanted a short read?

Most importantly, after looking at some of my free stuff already on the writing page, would you pay that much to read my writing?

Lemme know.

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Random stuff

So my birthday is coming up. And almost every year I have friends of the family asking my mother for my wish list. And almost every year I don't have a list ready, and some random stuff comes off the top of my head.

This year I decided to head off the inevitable question, and at minimum have at least one list ready.

I've spent several hours on amazon now, coming up with a wish list. And while a lot of it is still fairly random, at least it's not quite as random as it would be if I had to come up with it on the fly.

It's still failry short too though. Not much of a variety but my b-day is still a few weeks away, so I still have about another week to flesh it out some.

I think about the only criteria that I kept in mind as I made the list was size. My space is currently very limited, and since I expect to be getting out of school again in a couple of months I could be moving in the near future. SO everything on the list is small and easier to move, if necessary.

I know that 99.99% fo ya'll don't give a rat's ass about my wish list. But right now I'm feeling fairly good about actually getting it done.

Have a nice weekend.

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First HNT post

first HNT post. Happy HNT everybody.

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GRRRRR!

Oh am I pissed! I was going through my blogroll and saw that my ex had updated his recently. (they usually pop to the top of the list when they've been updated)

Now to those of you not in the know... I get along fine with my ex. I still consider him a good friend, and all indications point to him returning those feelings. All in all a good situation. We can still talk about things and we know each other well enough to avoid any problem spots. Heck, last time I checked I still got along fine with his wife as well.

But I guess that his mother-in-law has a problem with this.

How do I know this? Because she's trying to flame me in the comments section of his blog.

What's worse is that as far as I can tell, she's only started looking at his blog in the past few weeks. This woman has absolutely no idea of the friendshp that we still have, and she's trying to implicate that I can't let go and am obsessed. And she's doing it based on the fact that I can usually leave a comment pretty quick on his blog when he posts.

Hello... that's what blogrolling is about. Keeping track of the blogs that you watch and letting you know in some way when they have been updated. Anybody who checks this page several times a day will see the blogroll list in the sidebar change as the blogs get updated. I just use a frames version that I can open via a bookmark.

Grrrrr.

It's been about an hour since I first saw that comment, and I am still fuming. I already sent an email to my ex asking him to inform her of the situation, but who knows if she will listen.

I guess it would have been better if I could see that she'd looked at any of my stuff and been able to twist and construe it in any way to say I was trying to get hims back or was obsessed. But my statcounter suggests that she made these wild accusations without even looking for something to back them up. And if she'd even looked at ONE of my pages over the past few days she'd have realized that even though I was lamenting about my lonliness, I wasn't invoking the name of the past and was instead looking to the future.

*fume, fume*

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Bored?

Things I've come across in my internet travels. Insanely addicting or fun.

Net Disaster

Impact simulator #1

Impact simulator #2

Purity Test list

Just Fun

and I know that there are more, but these are just the easy to find ones.

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Blah

I need to escape. I need to get out and do something fun.

I just don't what, nor how I would pay for it.

I also need a man. My lonliness is starting to eat at me again, and once you start sinking it gets harder and harder to keep your head above water.

I hate to lean on my friends any more than I already am. I already feel that I'm asking too much of them. And yet I find that I am wanting more and more social time just to keep my mind from pulling me down.

I'm not talking internet social either. I'm talking actually getting out there and interacting with people.

I've also had a hard time writing these entries lately. I just don't seem to care.

I wish that these cycles would end. I wish for someting to happen that makes these moods go away. But I've lived with them long enough to know better.

All I can do is wait it out. Hope ya'll will wait with me.

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This bumpersticker is about how I feel today. 

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Blah

I'm in a Blah mood today.

But I accomplished getting a little more of my website put together this weekend, and I dropped another thousand words into dark system.

I have class in an hour, and I think I'm going to nap for a few minutes.

Later.

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Interview and going home

So I had an interview earlier today. I really don't know how I did. I'll admit that I was honest, but that was probably more of a hinderance than a help.

Now matter how hard the interviewer tried I couldn't be overly enthusiastic about the whole thing. It's just a matter of, even though I am still open to whatever comes along, this is just not the field that I really want to be in.

At least I get to go gome in a little while.

Go home and see my birdies.

Birdies, birdies, birdies!!!

I fully expect that they will all try to bite me. And at least one will succeed. I just hope it's the little blue one that succeeds, she doesn't bite too hard. She could, but she doesn't. She just uses the beak as a warning.

Then, tomorrow, I get to go to work.

Goal for this weekend... do something. something that accomplishes something else.

how's that for vague?

have a nice weekend all.

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ok, the focus of this pic is the mountain in the background. I just thought that it was so cool the way it was bright on one side and shadowed on the other. But not cool enough to stop the car obviously. 

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Random ramblings

So if anybody's been trying to get to my web page last night or this morning there were probably some problems. I guess the server I'm on decided that it didn't like anything anymore. But it should be up again now. Let me know if there continues to be problems.

Got a case of the yawns today, and I feel a headache coming on. If the aleve I took doesn't kick in soon it'll be a migraine.

I've got an information session I need to go to in a little while, and an interview tomorrow.

I'm kinda wishy-washy on the interview. I definitely need a job, but it's an oil company. Probably one if the fields I would like to get into least. Right next to weapons.

I would really like to get into food. I see that staying around for a while, but I'm not sure if the oil industry will be as stable througout my career path. But if it has to be this way...

Beggars can't be choosers.

I did some regular maintenance on my laptop last night. Defrag and virus scan. Took about 2 hours all told. Didn't need either, yet, but sometimes it's just good to get into the habit of doing that whether it needs it or not. That way you don't forget when it does need it.

and I'm out of ramblings for now. See ya'll tomorrow.

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little things I've noticed

I guess the first thing that I've really noticed lately is that my posts are getting later and later. AT least on monday/wednesday/friday they are.

No big deal, especially since some of you are reading before I even get up in the morning.

And since I really haven't had much of anything to talk about lately I don't think that abybody is noticing my post tardiness.

I've also noticed that I'm seeing fewer news articles that I really consider good than usual. Maybe it's just a combination of natural disaster and politics taking over the news, or maybe there really is less going on that really interests me.

I have also noticed that my sleeping schedule got off pretty bad last week. I still haven't got it back on track, I think that last night was the earliest I've gotten to sleep in a week. And that was at 1 am. Given that my sleep is bad at best, this could actually cause problems if it continues.

Mmmmm, ssslllleeeeeeeeeeppp.

Sorry, typing about sleep makes me sleepy. I want a nap now, even though I know I shouldn't. It would just mess up the schedule again.

Ok back to what I was talking about...

...

...

...

Oh, I guess I was done then. Well I guess I'll finish my cup of coffee and then decide on that nap. Type at all of ya later.

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Shadowfall

Ok, I think I decided. And the tentative title for what I will try to get out during NaNoWriMo is Shadowfall.

I figure I've got some time to finish Dark System, and since this other story keeps interrupting my attempts to finish I guess that means that I should go ahead and write it.

I think that it falls into the cyberpunk category, but I've never read cyberpunk so I really don't know.

Anyhow, I'll post little tidbits of random information on the site. And on Nov. 1st the writing begins.

Please keep an eye over there. Let me know if you think it's cyberpunk or not, and enjoy reading.

Shadowfall

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NaNoWriMo

As if I didn't have enough going on already (not really, but sometimes it feels that way), now I am considering signing up for NaNoWriMo.

I really must be insane. But there is some appeal to cranking out 50,000 words in a month. At the same time I wonder if there is any way I would be able to keep up the pace of almost 2000 words a day.

Somebody, please talk me either into or out of this.

I reapeat the insane comment, because before I should even consider this I should really finish the first book of Dark System. I know that I'm almost done, yet finding the willpower to finish is almost beyond me right now.

But there are plenty of stories clamoring to get out of my head and into type, so if I could pull it off it would free up a little bit of room in my head.

Anyway, there is other stuff that I should be doing right now. So I'll catch ya'll later.

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Back

Got back from Cruces last night. I was soooooooooo tired. I had gotten very little sleep the whole time I was there. I think the most I got was on the first night, and even then we had stayed up late talking.

Of course I had a good scare on the way home last night. When I left Cruces I knew that I'd be running low on gas when I got back to Socorro, but I had no idea how low.

I think I need to get my fuel gauge adjusted.

When I left Cruces my gauge was reading slightly higher than a half tank. Considering that I had filled up when I left Socorro, and had used much less than the half tank to get down I thought that I was in good shape, even though I had been doing quite a bit of driving around down there.

I even thought about getting gas many times on the way back up, just in case ya know. But the gauge never seemed to indicate that I was in need.

But right about 3 miles from Socorro the car started having problems. Shuddering, pedal to the metal and slowing down. I KNEW that I was out of gas. About a mile out I thought that I wasn't going to make it, that I would have to call nikki and bobda to come and get me.

I rolled into Socorro on fumes, literally. I filled up at the first station, and the car ate almost 13 gallons. I've never had to put in more than 12 before.

The funny thing, even when the car was lurching from no fuel, the gauge indicated that I had 1/16th of a tank left. That needle wasn't even brushing the empty line.

Which in itself is strange, because that little problem is new. I know that i've run the tank enough so that the needle rides the empty line, that's why I kept thinking that there wasn't a problem.

Oh well... Live and learn. And be glad I made it back into town.

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CBP

Part 6 of the community book project is posted

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Run, Run, Run..... AAAhhhhh

Hey all, don't really have time to say much. Just checking in before I get to packing my car and then driving 2 hours to Las Cruces, for my brother's wedding.

I'm taking the puter, but I don't know if I'll be able to get online at all. So if I can't I'll see ya'll on monday.

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blah blah, blah blah-blah, blah blah...thud

For some reason lately I feel as though I am trying to do too much.

I know that this is not the case. I know that because I'm actually probably doing less than I was earlier this year when I was still writing Torn.

Yet, somehow, the feeling persists.

I'm starting to think that these feelings are a result of the stresses in my life. Lack of money and job being high on the list. Couple that with the upcoming wedding of my little brother and my current lack of even a semblance of a love life and it just gets to me after a while.

And I really don't want to pull back from some of the things that I am doing, because I am doing so little already.

It's just coming down to a matter of focus. And right now I am to easily distracted. So once I manage to get away from the distraction, I find that there is not enough time left to do what I need to do.

I think I may need to start removing the network cable from the laptop every so often. The internet is a huuuge distraction, and the hardest to break away from.

But doing that could also be a bad thing. Email has become my primary method of communication, and since I don't readily give out my cel phone number it is sometimes the only method by which people can get in touch with me.

Not only that, but some of the things that I need to be doing can only really be done online. It's just that I'm not doing them either. I should be setting up my website better, and finishing my post to the community book poject. But instead I find myself trolling the message boards and reading blogs.

Thus I get an ever increasing backlog of things that I need to be doing, and feel that I'm overburdened.

Oh well... sometimes just venting like this can actually help. I actually analyze what's causing it, and sometimes that's enough to get me back on track.

Hopefully that will happen today.

Bye all.

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The little bitch in all of us...

GGGRRRRRRRR!!!

SO my little brother is getting married in less than a week, and I'm a bridesmaid in his wedding.

On it's own the above fact is no big deal.

But somehow the forces that run this universe are bound and determined to make this as stressful for me as possible. And they are accomplishing the task through one thing... my dress.

I guess I should start at the beginning, which was several months ago.

The bride went into this little shop in De Vargas Mall, and got some information on bridesmaid's dresses. She was told the costs, options and expected times.

Fast foward to the end of July. We decide that it is time to order the dress. I had picked out what I wanted (we were able to choose our own tops), and we went in thinking that there was still plenty of time.

That is where the problems started. The bride was initially told that the dresses would take 4-6 weeks, but when we went in in July she was told that it was in fact 12-16 weeks. But they could be rushed for 10-12, which we barely made.

So rather than hold up the process even one more day, I plunked down $225 to get my dress ordered.

The bride called the following monday (we had gone in on a Saturday, and couldn't get exact dates on when we could expect the dress to arrive) and after paying the rush fee was informed that my dress would be in the shop no later than Sep. 30th.

She called me and gave me the information, and at that time said that the person on the other end of the phone had been extremely rude.

So I waited a couple of weeks and with no word that there were any problems I went in and scheduled a fitting for today. I did it that far in advance because I know I would be in Socorro, and that today would be the only day I would have in Santa Fe to get it done. I explained when I made the appointment that this was the case, and the girls who took my information said no problem. There was no indication at that time that there was any problem whatsoever.

Another fast foward, to last Sunday. We (nikki and I) stopped in to make sure that there were no problems. All the other girls, who had ordered from elsewhere, had already recieved their dresses. So mine hadn't come in yet, but I was informed that it had been shipped the previous friday. Considering that it should had been shipped 2nd day (according to the lady I talked to today) I figured that there would be no problem with it having arrived by today.

So skip to today. No dress. It hadn't arrived yet.

And this is where today's title fits in.

All women have their inner bitch. Some of us manage to keep it hidden until needed, others keep it out in the open.

I'm of the first type, but the manager (owner?) of this little store was of the second.

I'm not one to let that little bitch out very often. I find that it gets hard to put back once loosed on the world, but today I had to either let it out or get walked all over.

The manager started talking down to me, and trying to blame the whole mess on the bride. No big deal, except that I knew she was lying, or at minimum didn't have a clue. I knew that the bride had been tearing her hair out because of this place for months. She had already tried to cancel my order and transfer it to a different place, but wasn't allowed to.

But the manager said that the reason it was held up was because the bride didn't inform them that the other girls had decided to go elsewhere. And that they then had to place my order at the last minute, and that was why it was late.

After about 10 minutes of being treated stupid by this lady we finally go over to the register so that I can at least try to get a refund on the alterations (since I'll have to get them done elsewhere). She then tells me that I still owed $25 for plus size. That's when I went off.

I'll admit that I'm plus size, but I paid in advance and made it clear that I knew I wasn't going to be able to afford anything else when I picked it up, so all charges were to be included in the initial cost. Since it wasn't I told them that I wouldn't pay it.

They tried to pull the we'll just take it out of the alteration fee thing, and then the 'well it says right here in the bride's contract...' thing. But I'd had enough. I made them give me back my whole alteration fee, and I hope that they don't try to charge the bride for the plus size.

Of course, I'm still left with the problem of having to get the dress altered now the day before the wedding.

I've already called the bride, since she has somebody down there she'll try to get me in with. And when she heard of all of this she's now thinking of calling the BBB and getting at least her rush fee back, since it wasn't in when they said it would be. And she confirmed what I already knew about how things played out on her end, and how they were lying to me.

I guess the biggest thing is how I was treated. I get tired of the business owners that get the attitude that they are doing you a favor by being in business. A paying customer should be respected, because without them the business would fail. And some of these people treat you like you should be thanking them for their problems.

And as for that little store, instead of references from me they will instead find that I will warn people to stay away.

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